u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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