It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
