I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
