when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
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