No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
