Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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