normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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