He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
