I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
