I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
