flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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