Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
