Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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