The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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