Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize