I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
