You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
