just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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