If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
