The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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