Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i dont even know how to be here
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
