Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize