I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they're like a gay fantastic four
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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