Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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