Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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