My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize