As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
