my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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