We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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