so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
