it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
