check it out our google latitudes are spooning
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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