so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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