I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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