Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My feet surprised me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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