i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
