Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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