his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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