Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
