I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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