let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I AM VODKA MAN
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
