New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
