Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
