i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
