i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
