He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
