There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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