I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
