Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
