Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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