last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
