so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
