don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
