MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
