she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Are we still banned from the library?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
