I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
