Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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