i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
