At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize