Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
