I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
